Star Wars, Tales of the Ruby Queen

Vani's Tall Tales

The craziest piloting stunt I ever pulled (so far)

That would be the time I turned the ship I was flying on her end an’ flew up through the centre hole of the imperial ship that was after my crewmates.

Y’see, we were on some desert world out in the middle of nowhere and the rest of the crew left me to mind the ship (and be their ace in the hole and getaway pilot) as they chased down some ancient little local doohicky.

And sure enough, eventually, after lots of shouting and shooting that I heard through the comm; I hear the boss shout my name and tell me to come pick them up quick. When I get there I find there’s this imperial ship hovering over this dive of a bar with troops all over the place as well as what looks like three gangs worth of the local underworld. I’m coming in low with the ramp down so’s my crewmates can jump onboard n’ we can get the hell outta there, when I spot the crew, they’re packed into this big truck thing that is just three inches too big to fit through the door with what looks like a speeder sticking out the back, n’ whoever’s driving is heading straight at the ramp as if they don’t plan on stopping til they hit the cargo bay.

Thank the stars they figured out they couldn’t bring the truck and they pile out at the edge of the ramp, though one crazy bastard is still lugging the speeder even when everyone else is running past him up the ramp like sensible folks.

They did get the speeder in, though it took the wookie’s strength to move it the last few feet before I had to close the ramp so’s I could get us out of there. ‘Course this all took time and the imperials used theirs to place their ship in our way.

Between the buildings, the people, and the frikken imperial ship, there was really only one path left open. Right through the hollow space in the middle of the imperial ship.

(who the hell builds a ship with a hole in the middle? They must of forgot to add some piece of equipment or maybe someone stole it?)

Our ship was built long and lean so I know we can slide through that hole. The imperials are taking their time thinking they got us trapped. I drop the throttle all the way and let the nose rise til we’re vertical then gun the engines for maximum thrust. Slide right through the hole sweet n’ easy as you please, so close to the bridge of the other ship you can see the shocked n’ amazed looks on those imperial faces as we escape their oh so clever trap! I’d maybe do that all over again just to see that look on their faces.



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